SAM & KIM
Length of Marrige: 9 years
Number of Children: 3
State of Residence: Tennessee
Placement Preferences: Sam and Kim wish to adopt one child between 0-24 months old. They are approved to adopt a male child and have also been approved for Asian, Biracial, Caucasian, Hispanic, Multiracial and Pacific Islander. They are open to semi-open adoptions and sending pictures, but are willing to talk to the birth parents about their desires.
Job: Asset Manager
Education: Liberal Studies
Color – Blue
Vacation Spot – Kuai, Hawaii
Books – Books on Science
Sport – Sailing
Tradition – Taking turns to have one on one time with the kids.
Sam About Kim:
Kim is a mom; born to be a mom. She has, what I would call, a natural talent for being a mom. She has an intuition that I have seen in few other moms. She can tell when something is going on inside the mind and heart of a child and she knows how to lovingly draw it out and help them work through it. There was one time when our son was 4 years old, and he was having a difficult time sleeping in his own bed. Every night, multiple times a night he would come into our room and it was extremely difficult for him to go back to sleep in his own room. We watched, horrified in the way he was behaving and acting. This went on for weeks. We were exhausted every single day and dreaded bedtime. I can remember a few nights of sitting outside his bedroom door praying at 2 o’clock in the morning just hoping he would stay in. Kim had an idea that she wanted to try. She knew his love language was quality time. She knew that spending time with just him was the way he felt loved and valued within our family, this is something that I was oblivious to. With this in mind she offered him what has come to be known as “special cuddle time.” It is a time after the other kids go to bed where he can spend time with us by himself. The first night we tried it and sure enough it worked. He slept the entire night in his bed without coming down. This is not a story to say how smart Kim is (though she is), what it does is demonstrate her ability to understand her children and help them work through difficult situations and her ability to know what they need to feel loved and valued within our family. Now each of the kids get a rotating special cuddle time throughout the week and it is something they absolutely love.
That is a huge long story, but really only focuses on one of Kim’s attributes. She has many positive attributes. She is also a fantastic teacher. She has her early childhood degree from the University of Central Florida and has taken it upon herself to teach our children in our home so that they can get the education and attention they need in order to thrive in an academic setting. At first I was not too fond of homeschooling because of the stereotypes and horror stories of children not knowing anything by the time they graduate, but I should have known Kim had it under control. Our kids absolutely thrive in the home-school environment. They are learning things that I never learned about historic figures, science and mathematics. She pours, literally everything she has into their education and we can see it paying off. While education is important she also understands the importance of children learning appropriate social skills. As all three of our kids get older I can see the incredible leaps and bounds they are making socially and I can say with confidence that our kids break the stereotype of socially awkward home-schoolers. While the youngest can still be shy (she’s still learning) our older two are very social in a respectable, likeable way. Alysa, always makes sure new people feel welcomed into groups that she is a part of and I don’t think she’s ever met a person she doesn’t like. Caleb started off very shy, but I have watched him blossom into someone who is always offering encouragement and building camaraderie within the groups he is a part of. As for Kylie, I have no doubt she will eventually be the most outgoing of all of them. Social skills are just as much of a learned skill as anything else people learn and Kim is doing a fantastic job of teaching them this. I’m the one who needs the most work out of anyone, but I have become much more outgoing since meeting her as well.
In the end, Kim draws the best out of people, especially her family. Admittedly, there are times when she over invests in people and gets hurt, but it doesn’t stop her. She is a loyal friend and a fun person to be around. But when it’s time to get down to business and get things done she is the one people turn to. There is no doubt in my mind that if she weren’t such an awesome mother and wife she’d be running a huge company. She is a go-getter and the backbone of our family, at the same time she is unbelievably humble and constantly striving to be a better person.
Job: Mom/Home Schooler/Director
Education: Early Childhood
Color – Pink
Vacation Spot – Kuai, Hawaii or any water spot
Family Activity – Hiking or Camping
Tradition – Elf on the Shelf at Christmas
Quality About Spouse – How he truly loves spending time with the kids.
Kim About Sam:
Sam is everything I could have ever asked for when thinking about a husband to me and a dad to our kids. The things that I think are “normal” dad things to do and the involvement that he has in each of their lives, are not so “normal” when talking with other moms. Sam is always sacrificing his time in order to do whatever he needs to do with the kiddos. The girls love to play dad, mom, baby games and he sits there and plays right a long with them in full character. He then makes sure to go outside and help Caleb practice whatever sport he is playing at that time. He gives each of them undivided one on one time to make them each feel important. He does one on one date with the kids allowing them to pick a dinner place and a fun activity. On Sunday nights we give each our kiddos a night to sleep in our bed…they get to pick a movie, favorite candy, and just some time with dad and mom. Although I will tell you that a lot of times on Sunday night I will stay up working on things and so it ends up being a night with dad. They look forward to this and know exactly whose turn it is each week!
He is also the spiritual leader in our house. He has the most generous heart, always giving of his finances and his time. He works hard every day in order for me to be a stay at home mom. But at the same time has perfect balance between work and family time. He has a heart for missions and wants to serve God in all that he does. He has been serving in our Children’s Church for the last couple of years and the kid’s love that he is one of their teachers on Sundays. He also teaches our adult Sunday school class. He is the type that doesn’t just to talk to talk, like me, but he has wisdom in his words. He is a great teacher to learn from for others and me in the class. Sam goes to Nicaragua and Indianapolis ever year on a mission trips.
Not only does he take his role of being a spiritual leader and dad seriously, but also a husband. We try to go on dates once every other week. With both sets of grandparents being close by we are able to do that. He helps whenever he can even if it’s during “work hours”. He treats me like a princess…exactly the kind of guy we want our daughters to marry. He is a great example to the girls on how they should be treated and great example to Caleb on how to treat his wife.
Adoption In Our Lives
How Will We Talk About Adoption
We are planning on being very open about the fact that our baby is adopted. We do not believe that hiding it or dancing around the issue would be good for this child. We want him to know how blessed we feel that he is part of our lives and how excited we are that we get the opportunity to raise him. We intend to paint the adoption picture in a very positive light in our home.
In our view, our children are part of this process and we intend to continue along this path. Our girls are very excited about the idea of having a baby brother and are looking forward to helping.
Caleb, our son, has wanted a brother since he was 3 years old. He understands that the child will be a baby and it’s not going to be like having a friend to play with, but he is still very much looking forward to having another boy in the house. We write all that so that you know this is something that our family is doing together. Our children are not simply going along with the process; they are an active part of the process and they understand that our family will be different, in a good way. It is something that everyone in our family wants to do and is ready and willing to make the necessary sacrifices in order to ensure that this adoption is a success.
So while we plan on being open with your child about his adoption, we will also be very positive about the entire process and we will always make sure that he understands how he was loved by our family even before he was born. At the same time we will help him to understand you love him very much and that is why you made the extremely difficult decision to put him up for adoption. We want him to know that you want the best for him and that is the reason you made the selfless decision that you did. If questions are asked about his biological parents we hope to know enough about you so that we can give him truthful answers and let him know that you love him very much as well. It is our goal that the child will understand that he is loved by both you and us.
What It Means to be Parents
To us parenting is about helping our children be successful in everything they do. We don’t define success as financial. We define success as being a well-rounded, independent thinking, respectful, and contributing member of society.
We believe that by building a foundation of love, trust and mutual respect we can help our children grow to be the best “them” they can be. We have found by building off this foundation our kids always feel secure and that our home is a safe place where they are free to share their feelings and ask questions.
We feel that this has allowed an openness between us that will make things easier for them as they grow and have increasingly important questions and feelings to work through on their way to becoming adults.
In short being a parent is a gift that we feel extremely lucky to take part in. We cherish all of our children and we are looking forward to adding to our family! We will work hard to bring him up in a way that will give him the best opportunities possible at every stage of his life. You can rest assured that he will be provided for in every way possible and will be supported and loved in a way that helps him grow into a secure and confident adult able to achieve his biggest dreams.
Our Extended Family
- We were the first to get married and the first to have children on both sides of our family. Still our kids only have one cousin at the moment, though we know that will soon change. But this means that wherever we go the grandparents follow.When we moved to another state in 2009 Kim’s parents followed about two years later and Kim’s brother moved here not too long after that. Similarly, Sam’s sister and parents moved just down the road about three years after we got here. So it goes without saying that we do a lot of things with our extended family.The kids absolutely adore their grandparents and the grandparents feel the same way. Kim’s parents come once a week to take each kid on a special outing. The kids can’t wait for this time. It makes them feel very special to get the one on one time. The kid’s also love going to Kim’s parents farm where they get to feed the goats and sheep and ride the Gator and go fishing. Kim’s parents have worked hard to make the farm a place that the kids would love going to; it is why they bought the farm in the first place. They have all the bells & whistles and love hosting big parties for the kids.Sam’s family is always willing to help out with the kids. They moved here, because they missed the kids being so close. Sam’s mom and dad are always willing to help with the kids whenever we need it. It is comforting to know that they are always just a phone call away.Besides the grandparents Kim’s brother and wife are close by and Sam’s sister is also down the road. We see them quite often at family gatherings and Aunt Kayci is always here to help. She has taught our kids art and swimming lessons and she helps out at Kim’s school in the nursery. The girls love her so much that they are always playing “Aunt Kayci and Uncle Matthew,” a game where Sam has to pretend to be Uncle Matthew and the girls take turns being Aunt Kayci or her dog. It safe to say that Aunt Kayci & Uncle Matthew hold a very special place in their hearts. Our families are pretty close, which is odd this day in age. But it is not uncommon for Kim’s side and Sam’s side to get together and do holidays together as one big family. We have also had a couple combined family vacations. We feel that it is extremely important to have a strong family unit and that includes extended family. We have to admit that we have a pretty unbelievable support group surrounding us and we feel blessed that we do.Everyone in our family and our extended family is looking forward to having a new baby around. We can’t wait to introduce him and let him start playing at the farm.